Scioscia’s New Rules

Mike Scioscia will soon get the chance to sit on a committee with Commissioner Bud Selig and some of the other top minds in baseball (aka all the old, crotchety managers still in the league) to suggest rule changes for Major League Baseball.  While the committee will probably succeed in imposing almost no change (have you ever been in a room full of grouchy old guys?  Lots of complaining, not so much doing), perhaps we can at least take a few guesses at the rule changes Sosh is going to push for:

Mike Scioscia argues

Scioscia is going to get a chance to pick the rules, but he’ll probably still argue them.

  • Fewer off days during the post-season.  I know the off-day schedule Selig used last season made for good TV ratings, but if we use that logic, there is going to be four days between each LCS game so that the Yankees can just pitch CC Sabathia every single game.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Sosh not only pushes to eliminate some of the off days but even goes to the length of suggesting some double-headers, just to make sure.
  • Full installment of instant replay.  See the 2005 ALCS, I am sure I need not say anymore than that.
  • Adding a rover to the position players.  No, Scioscia isn’t closet softball fan, but putting allowing a rover on the field will finally let Sosh realize his dream of playing all his middle infielders (Aybar, Kendrick and especially Izturis) at the same time.
  • Reduce games to eight innings.  A truly drastic move, but with an already grueling 162 game schedule, dropping one inning can save some wear and tear on the players.  That and it means one less inning where Scioscia has to use his bullpen.  In fact, with no ninth inning anymore, Sosh might never have to use Brian Fuentes again.  Bonus!
  • The seventh inning stretch.  There isn’t anything wrong with the seventh inning stretch, Mike will probably just want to include a provision in the rules that mandates that the managers are actually served peanuts and cracker jack during the stretch.  If this rule gets passed, I suspect that next year Scioscia will try and start a motion to get the lyrics to “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” to be “buy me some peanuts and cracker jack and lasagana.”
  • Eliminate the DH.  This rule will probably be discussed for real at the rule committee meeting and you might be surprised what side Scioscia comes down on.  You’d think that Sosh would prefer to keep a DH seeing how he is the American League and his team just signed Hideki Matsui, but eliminating the designated hitter would free up Scioscia to sacrifice bunt at least three times per game which would delight him to no end I am sure.
  • Increase the roster size to 26.  What ever would Mike Scioscia do with an extra roster spot?  Why carry another catcher of course!  If you thought Sosh loved stealing at-bats from the powerful bat of Mike Napoli in favor of Jeff “Mendoza Line” Mathis, just wait until he gets a chance to give some of those at-bats to either Bobby Wilson or Ryan Budde too!!  The more catchers the merrier!!!  Who needs all that power that Napoli has anyway?
Garrett Wilson

About Garrett Wilson

Garrett Wilson is the founder and Supreme Overlord of and editor at The Outside Corner. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry.