Top Ten Thursday: Things on this Angel Fan’s Christmas List

It is almost Christmas time and I just realized I haven’t handed my wishlist into Santa yet.  Well, I ain’t no grinch, so I better get this list cranked out and what better opportunity to do so than on Top Ten Thursday.  But I’m not asking for personal items this year, instead, I’m going to use my X-Mas powers for good and see if I can’t procure a few items to help out my favorite baseball team.

Angels Santa Hat

No, this isn’t another sponsored post looking to push Angels’ merchandise.

  1. I think this one pretty much goes without saying but, a nice new Adrian Beltre would be great.  But I don’t just want him signed, sealed and delivered, I want his butt underneath Arte Moreno’s tree with a big fat red bow on his head and the rest of him wrapped in an apology note from Scott Boras for his being such a pain in the ass during these negotiations.
  2. Let former Angel pitcher Bert Blyleven into the Hall of Fame.  I’m not sure if he actually deserves it, but at least it will finally get everyone on both sides of the argument to quit making such a big stink about it every single year.
  3. It would be really nice if Santa could find a way to give Scott Kazmir his slider back.  I ripped Kaz my fair share (and then some) last season, but the truth of the matter is that a lot of Angel fans’ frustration with Kazmir is that they know he could be good.  His decreased velocity is certainly part of the problem, but the big issue is that he no longer has any faith in his slider, which was once a devastating pitch that made him a potential ace rather than the lump of crap he is right now.  Imagine just how fearsome the Angel rotation could be if Kazmir found his slider and returned to his 2007 form.
  4. A year’s suppy of Ritalin for Erick Aybar.  I’m no doctor, but all those mental lapses in the field last season can only be the result of Attention Deficit Disorder.  If that dude could just concentrate for nine straight innings at a time, I have no doubt that the Angel defense would be three times better than it was last season.
  5. For Cliff Lee to not re-sign with the Rangers.  Wait, what?  He didn’t?  Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!  Christmas came early this season, hooray!!!  Thanks, Santa!
  6. I’ll keep this one simple.  Please, someone, ANYONE, sit Mike Scioscia down in a locked room and don’t let him out again until he promises to give Jeff Mathis no more than 50 starts this season (and believe me, I’m being awfully generous in allowing him 50 starts).
  7. I don’t know if it will work, but I’d sure love it if someone would at least attempt to perform an exorcism on Scott Boras.  The power of Christ compels you… to quit screwing over the Angels in free agency!
  8. I wish for Santa to give us back the #Angels hashtag on Twitter.  I don’t know when it happened, but sometime in the last few months, some musician I’ve never heard of, Trey Songz, must’ve dubbed his female fans as the Angels, because they have usurped the hashtag on Twitter.  So now I have to suffer through reading tweets about voting some stupid song into the top 40 or “OMG, Trey iz so sexxxy” when I am trying to see what other LA Angels news and discussion is going on out there.  Seriously, Santa, get rid of this guy, or at least make his fans shut their tweet holes.
  9. This one is an either/or option.  Either have Mike Scioscia use a closer-by-committee or leave an industrial-sized tub of Rolaids under my tree so that I don’t get an ulcer from a full season of watching Fernando Rodney try and close out games.
  10. What I really want more than anything is to know what actually happened in the Carl Crawford Catastrophe.  Did the Angels really make an offer?  If so, how much was it for?  Or did he never even give the Angels a chance like Arte said?  I’m probably going to be pissed off no matter what the answer is, but at least I would know (and knowing is half the battle!  Gooooooo Joe!!!).
Garrett Wilson

About Garrett Wilson

Garrett Wilson is the founder and Supreme Overlord of and editor at The Outside Corner. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry.