When I couldn’t sleep the other night, I started trolling through of my Google Analytics reports, specifically, the keyword referrals this blog has gotten. There were a lot of what you would expect (the first 50 or so results were some permutation of “Jeff Mathis can’t hit” or “Angels offense sucks”, but as I got into the depths of the report, I found some that were downright hilarious.
Here are the ten most “interesting” keyword results I found from the last few months. I know I do some satirical pieces now and then, but I promise you these are all 100% real. That reminds me, if any of you are responsible for these searches, I both applaud you and am slighlty worried about your mental health.
- “Is Jeff Mathis a homosexual”- Wow, I know give Mathis a hard time, but take it easy people.
- “Arte Moreno and murder in Anaheim stadium”- This last off-season was bad, but murder? I think someone is taking things a little to personally.
- “I hate Carl Crawford”- Not gonna lie, I’m pretty proud of this one.
- “Juan Rivera lazy”- Why did someone need to Google this? Just watch him play and that should pretty much tell you all you need to know.
- “Vernon Wells big splash”- Ouch, that one hurts.
- “Did Joe Maddon get fat”- Maddon might be a Scioscia protege, but not to the point that he’s emulating Mike’s body type.
- “Garrett Wilson and death penalty”- WHAT?!?!?! Hey, people, if you don’t like my writing, just leave a snarky comment, the death penalty seems like a bit much, no? Seriously though, I actually plugged this search in myself and some douche with the same name as me killed his infant child. Way to ruin it for everyone, other Garrett.
- “Is it a good idea not to drop Kendrys Morales?”- No, that is not a good idea. In fact, there might not be much worse ideas out there when it comes to fantasy baseball.
- “John Lackey cheats on his wife”- That’s just not very nice.
- “Scott Kazmir don’t worry guys”- Google FAIL! There is no way I ever wrote anything about Kazmir that involved the sentiment of “don’t worry.”