Top Ten Thursday: Funniest Keyword Referrals

When I couldn’t sleep the other night, I started trolling through of my Google Analytics reports, specifically, the keyword referrals this blog has gotten.  There were a lot of what you would expect (the first 50 or so results were some permutation of “Jeff Mathis can’t hit” or “Angels offense sucks”, but as I got into the depths of the report, I found some that were downright hilarious.

Here are the ten most “interesting” keyword results I found from the last few months.  I know I do some satirical pieces now and then, but I promise you these are all 100% real.  That reminds me, if any of you are responsible for these searches, I both applaud you and am slighlty worried about your mental health.

  1. “Is Jeff Mathis a homosexual”-  Wow, I know give Mathis a hard time, but take it easy people.
  2. “Arte Moreno and murder in Anaheim stadium”-  This last off-season was bad, but murder?  I think someone is taking things a little to personally.
  3. “I hate Carl Crawford”-  Not gonna lie, I’m pretty proud of this one.
  4. “Juan Rivera lazy”-  Why did someone need to Google this?  Just watch him play and that should pretty much tell you all you need to know.
  5. “Vernon Wells big splash”-  Ouch, that one hurts.
  6. “Did Joe Maddon get fat”-  Maddon might be a Scioscia protege, but not to the point that he’s emulating Mike’s body type.
  7. “Garrett Wilson and death penalty”-  WHAT?!?!?!  Hey, people, if you don’t like my writing, just leave a snarky comment, the death penalty seems like a bit much, no?  Seriously though, I actually plugged this search in myself and some douche with the same name as me killed his infant child.  Way to ruin it for everyone, other Garrett.
  8. “Is it a good idea not to drop Kendrys Morales?”-  No, that is not a good idea.  In fact, there might not be much worse ideas out there when it comes to fantasy baseball.
  9. “John Lackey cheats on his wife”-  That’s just not very nice.
  10. “Scott Kazmir don’t worry guys”-  Google FAIL!  There is no way I ever wrote anything about Kazmir that involved the sentiment of “don’t worry.”
Garrett Wilson

About Garrett Wilson

Garrett Wilson is the founder and Supreme Overlord of and editor at The Outside Corner. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry.