It’s official, Angels fans. We are on a roller coaster of a season. We’re experiencing highs and lows like never before. The season is but two months young and we’ve already been on emotional ups and downs that, recently, have fluctuated faster than Jose Canseco’s testosterone. Pujols has turned the corner, then he hasn’t. Vernon Wells is mildly productive, then he’s very productive. The bullpen is horrible, then they’re fantastic …er, decent.
What we need is a solid center to the Halos’ universe. A symbol as strong, iconic and everlasting as Chuck Norris’s beard. The good news is we need look no further than our beloved skipper for this symbol. Submitted for your approval: The Sciosciaface.
Yes, Mike Scioscia’s slightly pudgy, furrowed brow, looks-like-a-boxer-puppy-when-someone-blows-a-dog-whistle countenance should be our guiding light. A more fitting icon you will be hard pressed to find. The halo lights up only on wins, but Sciosciaface can be found from the first at-bat to the last pitch. So strong is the Sciosciaface, that it even found its way onto Mike’s bobblehead. Only Torii Hunter’s million-dollar smile has been so immortalized, and while it is a desperately needed part of the Angels equation, its longevity does not even begin to compare to staying power of Sciosciaface.
The appeal of the Sciosciaface is simple: Everyone has a little Sciosciaface in them. That Thursday night when your boss tells you that he needs you to stick around for unpaid overtime? Sciosciaface. When your daughter comes home with a D in Geometry? Sciosciaface. When you’re driving on the 5 and that light-up sign tells you 3 lanes are blocked at Katella because some cretin in a Hummer H3 was on his Blackberry and crashed into a cement truck? You best believe you’re showing your Sciosciaface.
We, as fans, should to embrace the face. We can make it as much a part of the game as the Rally Monkey and light-up beer glasses. With the tumultuous season thus far, we’ve only been questioning Scioscia. It’s time to stand up and show our support. Wear your Sciosciaface and wear it proudly. You’re an Angels fan and you have the right to show that any time of game or any time of day, you are confused/angry/happy/sleepy/hungry!
A light like the Sciosciaface can only shine when everyone understands its meaning. One can safely say that only a small portion of fans truly understand the nuances of the Sciosciaface. Look at the image below. Can you read Michael’s innermost thoughts? Is he considering a pinch hit? Is he thinking about putting the shift on? Is he silently judging a Mark Trumbo 3rd base performance? Is he missing Jeff Mathis? Is he wondering what Brandon Wood’s up to these days?
…You know, upon closer inspection, he’s probably just thinking about what flavor of Gatorade they brought to the dugout for tonight’s game.