Halo Headlines: Weaver hurts elbow, Pujols willing to walk away from his contract

The April 8th, 2013 edition of daily news for the Los Angeles Angels including Weaver hurts elbow, Pujols willing to walk away from his contract and much more…

The Story: Jered Weaver injured his left elbow avoiding a comebacker on Sunday night and may need to go to the DL.

The Monkey Says: The good news is that it is his non-pitching elbow so it doesn't have to be 100% for him to be able to pitch, however, he does appear to be in a lot of pain. Given how bad it looked when he left the game, the DL seems like an option, so we'll just have to wait and see. I'd expect Garrett Richards to step into his spot in the rotation if Weaver isn't ready to ho.


The Story: Albert Pujols says he will walk away from his contract when he feels like he can no longer be competitive.

The Monkey Says: Let's print this article out, put it in a tim capsule, bury it in the bottom of his locker and dig it up on the final day of the 2018 season for Albert to read, you know, just in case.


The Story: Josh Hamilton compared himself to Jesus when talking about weathering the chorus of boos in Texas.

The Monkey Says: I don't think he actually thinks he is Jesus, but rather this is what happens when every metaphor you make in life involves God or Jesus.


The Story: The wife of Josh Hamilton had to call security to protect her during the first game of the series in Texas.

The Monkey Says: You stay classy, Texas.  Look, I have no problem with yelling insults at Josh and booing him, but if you are directing insults at his wife and kids then you are officially a piece of shit. It is just a game people, get over it.


The Story: Catching prospect Carlos Ramirez has been suspended for 50 games for a second failed test for a drug of abuse.

The Monkey Says: Ramirez is a great defensive catcher but has struggled to hit. He had a shot of someday making the 40-man roster as a back-up, but this is going to be a major strike against him.


The Story: The Angels re-signed Bill Hall to a minor league contract.

The Monkey Says: He appears to be healthy now and it seems likely that he will get called up to the big league roster before long seeing how the Angels were high on him before his injury and, frankly, need a potent bat off the bench. Let me put it this way, I really hope Brendan Harris has a month-to-month lease on his Orange County apartment.


The Story: Ryan Madson threw another bullpen session but says he is not yet 'pain-free."

The Monkey Says: Here's the kicker, Madson said this as a sign that he was making progress. So, yeah, see you in July, Mad Dog.


The Story: A matrix of how evil each team's owner is.

The Monkey Says: Yay? Arte Moreno is only slightly evil.


The Story: Mike Trout is fast.

The Monkey Says: If you have a GIF of Trout legging out a double then you have a spot reserved in the Halo Headlines.


The Story: Why the Angels were stupid to sac bunt in the 9th inning of Thursday's loss to the Reds.

The Monkey Says: Yes, the sac bunt actually reduced their odds of scoring a run. This is why if I ran a team, I would have a run expectancy table tattooed on the inside of the eyelids of whoever my manager was.


The Story: Josh Hamilton talks about hitting and faith.

The Monkey Says: That actually wasn't the line of questioning the interview was going for. It is literally all Hamilton talks about. Seriously, a reporter could just leave an open tape recorder in the Angels locker room and get all the quotes they need for another piece just like this. They'd also probably get the secret Scioscia family recipe for lasagna. I just imagine that Mike talks about that a lot.


The Story: Here is a picture of Mike Trout with Ryan Seacrest.

The Monkey Says: Obviously they are together because… umm… wait… WHAT THE F@#%?!?!


The Story: How closer velocity and location correlate.

The Monkey Says: This is not something I advise looking at if you a pro-Frieri. However, I also don't think this is conclusive given the sample involved, so don't panic either.


The Story: Chili Davis rates as the seventh-best DH of all-time.

The Monkey Says: Yeah, but he has the best name out of any of the guys on the list.


The Story: Ranking teams by their roster's Scrabble potential.

The Monkey Says: The Halos rate pretty low, but just wait until they add Exicardo Cayones to the roster.

Garrett Wilson

About Garrett Wilson

Garrett Wilson is the Supreme Overlord of Monkeywithahalo.com and editor at The Outside Corner. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry.

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