The Angels are going to make some trades in the coming weeks, this much we know. Unfortunately, we don't know much else.
Which players are going to be traded? We can guess, but we aren't totally sure.
Who will they be traded for? Pitching… probably, but we don't know which specific guys they are targeting or just how committed to that "young and controllable" stance.
What we can do though is predict how a certain segment of Angel fans will react when said trades go down. Thanks to my handy-dandy What-If Machine and trusty Fing-Longer, I have been able to generate potential trade scenarios and capture the social media responses of random Angels fans. Let's take a look into the future, shall we?
What if the Angels traded Mark Trumbo?
@TrumboneMe: OMG! Can't believe they traded my baby! The guy they got back isn't even cute! Totes gonna sell my pink Trumbo jersey and get a Matt Kemp one. #dreamyeyes
@HalosBro: Angels are such fucktards. Gonna regret loosing those #Trumbombs. Fuck OBP, bro. You gotta have those #dingers. #chicksdigthelongball
@LAAAANGELZ: WHAAAAT? WHO DA FUCKS EOVALDI? YOU CAN"T TRADE A FAN FAVE. FIRE THAT DUMBASS DIPOTO AND SCIOSCIA TO!!!!!!!!!!!
@Garrett_MWAH: Not the sexiest of returns, but anybody who thought the Angels were gonna get an ace for a guy with a .299 OBP is living in a fantasy world.
@Trouty20: Going to miss my boy Trumbo! Good luck in Miami !!!
What if the Angels traded Howie Kendrick?
@EveryAngelsFanEver: Seriously can't wait for Kendrick to win the batting title now that the Angels traded him.
@ThisIsHowieDoIt: WHAT? We traded Kendrick and didnt get Bautista back! #stupid
@Anaheimlich: gonna miss kendrick but not gonna miss the gidps #candadasproblemnow
@Garrett_MWAH: They should have traded Aybar, kept Howie at 2B, moved Green to 3B and signed an all-glove SS instead.
@Trouty20: Going to miss my boy, Howie! Good luck in Toronto !!!
What if the Angels traded Peter Bourjos?
@xHALOBEASTx: HAHA! Cant beleive phillies gave up that much for borjuos. dude cant even hit
@BoUZRjos: NOOOOOO! How do you give up the best defensive CF alive for a freaking reliever?!
@Garrett_MWAH: /curls up in fetal position and sobs uncontrollably
@Trouty20: Going to miss my boy Bourjos! Good luck in Philly !!! #FlyEaglesFly
(10 seconds later) @Trouty20: Can't wait to be back in CF full-time !!!
What if the Angels traded Chris Iannetta?