Series Preview: Angels vs. Mariners vs. God’s merciless judgement

Angelsvs.mariners

MATCH-UP MOTTOS

FRIDAY, 8/23: Garrett Richards vs. Felix Hernandez: Hail to the King, Baby.

Even though the Angels have been wildly successful against King Felix during his career so it doesn't feel like the Angels will have enough steam in the engines to take him out one last time before the end of the season. While the season has been insanely disappointing the Angels are usually able to come through against the King. Now that they have nothing to play for, I'm not so sure things will be the same. Look for Richards to build on his past few starts, which have been slightly shaky and awesome at the same time.

SATURDAY, 8/24: Jason Vargas vs. Erasmo Ramirez: Third time's the charm.

Erasmo Ramirez has pitched almost as badly as his Marvel-supervillian sounding name would lead you to believe. His ERA is just south of 6, yet he hasn't had a loss all season. This is the kind of anomaly that preys on the Angels, especially with struggling lefty Vargas on the mound. Even though he's had two starts since coming off the DL they haven't nearly been the quality the Angels desire. Hopefully he can straighten up against a team as bad as the Mariners, though it should be said the M's are currently ahead of the Angels in the standings. That means the Angels a whole lot worse

SUNDAY, 8/25Jered Weaver vs. Aaron Harang: Ha Ha-Harang

Jered Weaver, despite his 9 ER start. has pitched rather strongly as of late. With Aaron Harang on the mound and the Seattle Mariners at the plate it's looking like Weaver might find easy pickings out of this one. Harang has always struggled against the Angels, especially at Safeco Field. Here's to hoping the Angels can pound Harang hard enough to give Weaver the chance to get a much needed win, otherwise the Ha-Ha might be on us.

 

MISERY INDEX

The index reading for this series is: stubbing your toe, breaking your foot, and being carjacked on the way to the hospital within the span of 15 minutes.

man on fire

The last few series have been a menagerie of pain for the Halos. After nearly getting swept by the Yankees they just avoided a sweep by the Astros, and will likely just miss getting swept by the Mariners. Even though the Angels might have the advantage in terms of starting pitching matchups going into the series we all know how these things turn out. Look for the pain train to speed on ahead at full capacity. It won't stop for anything.

Ever.

GOOD NEWS

We aren't the only team in the bottom of the AL West standings. It's always nice to have company wherever you are, even if it is the Houston Astros and Seattle Mariners. Geez, the Mariners have been in town for not even a season so far and they've already become basement buddies with the Angels. Nothing sadder to me than the Astros crashing with the Angels in their moms basement on the couch.

 

BAD NEWS

God has forsaken his only Angels. What seemed like a season in the books has now fallen to complete, utter disaster. This is like a reverse 2000 era for the Angels; when the Rangers were perpetual losers while the Angels went to the playoffs nearly every year. Looks like that crafty old fortune has spun itself this past decade. Maybe next season the tables will turn themselves back to normal?

 

AMBIVALENT NEWS

Am I the only one who enjoys getting to watch the younger Angels, like Grant Green and Garrett Richards, develop into the impact players they will be next year? I probably am the only one watching since Mike Trout is injured. Oh yeah, Mike Trout is still injured. But don't worry because it's not like we'll need him for playoffs.

 

CLOSING STATEMENT

I know that the Angels are a burning dumpster fire right now, but where every burning dumpster once stood is now a shining aluminum replicant of once was before. While the Angels have been burning pretty hard the last few years not all fires are meant to last forever. I'm confident the Angels brass will be smart enough to dump water on that fire this coming offseason and put a better plan in place to protect their assets from burning once more. 

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