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The 2013 former Angel All-Star Team

When your favorite baseball team kinda, sorta stinks there are some unhealthy activities that a fan base tends to engage in. One such activity is seeing that a player that used to play for your team performing well and bitching and moaning about the fact that said player is no longer on your team.

How could [INSERT FAVORITE TEAM] be so stupid! That guy is great now. Another genius move by [NAME OF GENERAL MANAGER]!

It really is just massive waste of time and energy seeing how every single team in baseball could fill out a roster of all the quality players that used to play for them. But rather than reprimand people who participate in this misguided bit of schadenfreude, I'm opting to embrace it.

When I said earlier that you could fill out a roster of all the quality players that used to play for your favorite team, in the case the LA Angels, I was only slightly exaggerating. So, without further adieu, I present the 2013 former Angel All-Stars to appease all if you looking to bury the Halos for their inept roster management over the years. So let's tip one back in fond memory of Tony Reagins and the damage he has wrought and get into this:

C – Jose Molina (0.3 fWAR): You have no idea how close WAR came to making this Jeff Mathis, which would have absolutely broken me. Instead, we get the king of pitch framing. That's quite the ironic twist given the current battle going on between Conger and Iannetta and Scioscia's pursuit of catcher defense.
1B – Kendrys Morales (1.1 fWAR): Jason Vargas also has a 1.1 fWAR right now, so this trade really couldn't have worked out more evenly, assuming Jason's arm doesn't fall off after his surgery to remove a blood clot from his shoulder.
2B – Sean Rodriguez (0.5 fWAR): Good thing the Angels don't badly need a utility infielder.  (grumble, grumble grumble)
3B – Kevin Frandsen (0.7 fWAR): 'Memba him? Yet another utility infielder who has been solid in a reserve role that the Angels let slip through their fingers.
SS – Jean Segura (3.0 fWAR): Just imagine what this lineup would be like if Segura was leading off and playing third base everyday. Totally worth two and half months of Greinke, amirite?
LF – Vernon Wells (0.2 fWAR): Let's be honest, he's only really on here so we can all get a chance to boo him one more time.
CF – Alexi Amarista (0.3 fWAR): Everyone talks as if the Frieri trade was such a steal for the Angels, but Amarista is a pretty useful utility player and Donn Roach still hasn't shown what he can do.
RF – Torii Hunter (1.2 fWAR): *burns a picture of Josh Hamilton in effigy*
DH – Mike Napoli (1.4 fWAR): I don't care what his WAR is, that beard he is currently sporting makes me happy that he is gone.
BENCH – Maicer Izturis (-1.0 fWAR): Bullet dodged.
BENCH – Wil Nieves (0.5 fWAR): This is kind of cheating because he only spent a couple seasons in the minors for the Halos without ever playing for the big league club, but this team needs a back-up catcher and I think I was pretty clear about the "no Jeff Mathis" thing.
BENCH – Alexi Casilla (0.4 fWAR): Considering he was traded in the off-season by the infield hungry Twins, this one isn't really a great loss.
BENCH – Trevor Crowe (-0.3 fWAR): Another cheat, but we are seriously running out of former Angels, so Crowe gets picked merely due to a lack of alternatives.

SP – Patrick Corbin (2.6 fWAR): I don't even think that Jerry Dipoto saw this one coming and he is the guy who acquired Corbin in the first place.
SP – Bartolo Colon (2.5 fWAR): Sure, he has been great this season, but once he gets hammered with that 100-game Biogenesis suspension.
SP – John Lackey (1.8 fWAR): A former Angels All-Star team isn't complete without a mouth-breathing turncoat.
SP – Ervin Santana (1.7 fWAR): Remind me again why the Angels were better off with Blanton instead of Santana?
SP – Zack Greinke (0.7 fWAR): Just think of all the baseball brawl violence that could have been averted had Moreno ordered Dipoto to sign Greinke instad of Hamilton.
RP – Tyler Chatwood (1.5 fWAR): He gets the pick as the long man for this team, but it should not go unnoticed that Chatwood has really seemed to finally figure it in Colorado. I don't know if he can keep it up, but now the Iannetta deal is looking a lot more even than it originally appeared.
RP – Alex Torres (0.7 fWAR): The Scott Kazmir trade is the gift that keeps on punching you in the face.
RP – Jordan Walden (0.7 fWAR): He's doing his usual "good numbers but I don't really trust him" routine, but more importantly he is the early leader in the race of "who can pitch the longest before their arm turns to dust?" race with Tommy Hanson.
RP – Kevin Gregg (0.4 fWAR): I know, I can't believe that he is closing again and actually drawing interest in the trade market.
RP – Joel Peralta (0.4 fWAR): He hasn't been great this season, but he has been more than good enough to make the Angels question their decision to release him for reasons that aren't entirely apparent even today.
RP – Fernando Rodney (0.3 fWAR): How many former Angel relievers do the Rays have? This is ridiculous. At least we can take solace in the fact that Fraudney has turned back into a pumpkin in Tampa. I feel vindicated in my assertion that he is a lump of crap reliever no matter what his lowest ERA ever record says.
RP – Francisco Rodriguez (0.3 fWAR): See what I said above about Gregg and reduce the disbelief by about 25%.

Garrett Wilson

About Garrett Wilson

Garrett Wilson is the Supreme Overlord of Monkeywithahalo.com and editor at The Outside Corner. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry.

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