Alternative ideas for the open spot in the Angels rotation

The Angels are running out of time to find a starter for their game against Oakland this Saturday. They’ve already kicked Wade LeBlanc to the curb. They appear to have taken a pass on Bartolo Colon and Scott Feldman. They don’t really have much to call upon in the minors. With the clock ticking down, they pretty much have to make a trade today, or start getting creative.

With that trade looking increasingly unlikely, I’ve taken it upon myself to do some outside the box thinking. Here’s just a few creative alternatives that Jerry Dipoto might want to consider for filling the gaping hole in the rotation.

This is the equivalent of what the Angels would probably be putting out there anyway if they decided to fill the rotation spot from within. At least this way they save some money and don’t put a pitcher at risk of injury. Besides, if you just wrapped a Wade LeBlanc jersey around it, would anyone even notice the difference?

There have long been rumors that Trout can pump it up to 90+ MPH. At least this way we finally determine if that is just an urban legend.

Have you seen this guy play? How has nobody signed him? He can strike out three batters on just one pitch! Granted, he’s a little old, but I’m pretty sure he’s still pre-arbitration, so he’ll come cheap.

Jerry Dipoto is a former big league pitcher and he is the one primarily responsible for this mess, it only seems fair that he should have to clean it up himself.

Perhaps I am taking things too literally, but this is definitely a pitcher. It is a good pitcher too. It has four and half stars on Amazon! The good news is that it doesn’t have to clear waivers, and if Jerry Dipoto has an Amazon Prime account, he can get it shipped to the Big A just in time for the Saturday start and it won’t cost him an extra cent. That’s just smart asset management. The bad news is that the pitcher is made of glass, so there is a real injury risk.

I’ll admit, I haven’t actually seen “Ed.” I’m not sure that he is even a pitcher in the movie. I’m assuming he is. Even if he isn’t, he’s a chimpanzee and everyone loves chimpanzees! He could be truly horrible, but at least he’d be cute and likely engage in shenanigans. Everyone loves shenanigans! Everyone really loves chimp shenanigans! It’s a win-win.

I mean, he is available.

Garrett Wilson

About Garrett Wilson

Garrett Wilson is the founder and Supreme Overlord of and editor at The Outside Corner. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry.