So Twitter recently unveiled a new feature where you can see the very first tweet for any Twitter user. What a great idea! Now we can see what insightful or insipid or embarrassing thing someone said when they first joined a medium that they probably didn't understand at the time. This seems like a great source of entertainment. In fact, I think it would be loads of fun to see what various Angels players posted as their first tweet. Let's take a look, shall we?
First up, resident Angels Twitter luminary C.J. Wilson. Surely he'll have some motivational, PMA-related tweet, right?
gonna go get hypnotized
— C.J. Wilson (@str8edgeracer) February 3, 2009
OK, not quite sure what that is all about, but C.J. is a weird guy.
Perhaps his rotation mates had something more insightful to say as they joined twitter. What say you, Garrett Richards?
New to the twitter world. Thanks for following me. Much love.
— Garrett Richards (@GRICHARDS26) July 19, 2011
"Much love?" That doesn't sound very Oklahoman, but he spells his first name with two T's, so I'll let it sldie.
Let's see if Tyler Skaggs can't up the level of conversation.
Had to Make a Twitter oops!
— Tyler Skaggs (@TylerSkaggs37) September 27, 2010
Alright, let's look deeper down the depth chart at Matt Shoemaker.
— Matt Shoemaker (@MattShoemaker33) March 18, 2013
Much better! Complete and total pandering to the fans, but at least there is something of substance. I must also say that Shoemaker really has the whole hashtag game down pretty well for a first tweet.
Still, I crave something more entertaining. Let's turn to the bullpen. Relievers are supposed to be funny and quirky, right, Dane De La Rosa?
Sitting on a bus. Can't sleep. Six more hours to go. It sux to be tall!
— The_DUDE! (@Daner13) May 25, 2009
This man speaks the truth! Still, this was the best the bullpen had to offer.
OK, how about the best player in the world, Mike Trout?
— Mike Trout (@Trouty20) May 18, 2010
Oh, for Pete's sake. Knowing Trout's regular tweeting habits, this is actually a candidate for his best tweet ever since it lacks emojis and multiple exclamation points.
OK, let's try one of their big offseason pick-ups, David Freese.
What's up Twitter World. Only bout 5 years late but I'm here…
— David Freese (@Freeser6) June 18, 2011
You have to hand it to Freese, at least he is self aware.
Time to quit screwing around. Let's go with someone known to be funny, Hank Conger.
Thanks to my boys @Trouty20 @16WMBrooks for helping me get into the twitter game!
— Hank Conger (@HankConger16) October 21, 2011
Well, that was a letdown.
Enough with this player nonsense then. Obviously they just aren't good at hitting the Twitter ground running. What about Victor Rojas? He uses words for a living!
It's hotter than blazes in st. louis…cards/tigers should be good. Nothing like having chicken twists as the pre game grub
— Victor Rojas (@VictorRojas29) June 18, 2009
What the hell is a chicken twist? What is going on here?
This just isn't working. One last try to find something entertaining. Let's see what the Angels' official Twitter account christened the Twitterverse with.
Welcome to the official Twitter of the defending AL West champion Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim! Vote All-Stars at http://angelsbaseball.com
— Los Angeles Angels (@Angels) May 12, 2009
AAAAAGGGGH!!!!! Why did I do that? That "defending AL West champion" reference is just downright depressing. This was a terrible, terrible idea.