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Interpreting the Angels’ new hand signal

So, apparently the Angels have a new hand signal. They used to have some sort of salute-ish thing that they never really explained (though I always assumed it had something to do with “raising the bar” or level or something). Anyways, here is the new hand signal:

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Guess what? They aren’t saying what that what means either.

Ooh! It’s a mystery! Someone call Scooby-Doo and those meddling kids and get them on the case. What’s that? They’re unavailable? Old man Withers at the abandoned amusement park? You don’t say.

Alright, fine, I’ll figure it out myself. Having seen this signal all of maybe four times, I think I am more than qualified to make a completely uneducated guess as to what it might mean.

“The Halo”
They are the Angels, right? So why not make a Halo symbol? That might be a little too on the nose though. Besides, if you look at Hamilton’s sign, the circle is upright, not laid out flat like the standard depiction of a Halo. Granted, he might just be bad at the hand sign since it is relatively new, but you’d think the uber-religious guy would know how to make a proper Halo hand signal if he had to.

“The Donut”
I might be projecting here, but when I do something good, I like to enjoy a celebratory donut. Donuts are delicious. Who doesn’t like donuts? Then again, the Angels did hire a nutritionist this year, so celebrating with a donut signal would seem awfully disrespectful. Or maybe they are rebelling! Oh, sweet, sugary, succulent rebellion.

Yeah, that’s a stretch. It probably isn’t a donut hand signal, but I do really want a donut now. Anyone in the area want to make a Top Pot run for me?

“Come Together”
This would be the most bland and boring explanation which almost certainly means that it is the true explanation. Not to cast aspersions, but baseball bros aren’t exactly the most original and creative bunch. I mean, it isn’t like they’ve been smashing shaving cream pies in each others’ faces for decades. The only reason I think it might this is that they seem to be making a specific point of having their fingertips touch. Why it has to be circular, I don’t know.

“Itsy Bitsy Spider”
Maybe I’m wrong about it being a circle. It actually looks like maybe they are doing the old Itsy Bitsy Spider hand motion. Why? Who the hell knows. I just know that I have small children and that looks like the part of Itsy Bitsy Spider where the sun comes up and dries up all the rain. Maybe the rain is like a metaphor for the last four seasons of their playoff drought. But is rain really a great metaphor for a drought? Or maybe the players feel less like it is a drought and more like a rainstorm of sadness.

Whoa, man, this is starting to get pretty deep. I had no idea these guys operated on so many levels.

“Excellent, Smithers”

As you can see in the above video, the signal is evolving. This is from a week ago when I first noticed it. Calhoun does the signal out in front of his chest rather than above his head and he repeatedly taps his fingers together rather than holding the circle-ish shape. It reminds of when Mr. Burns taps his fingers together and says, “Excellent, Smithers.”

If that is the case, the Angels are either big Simpsons fans or plotting an evil scheme to block out the sun in Anaheim… or both. Probably both. I mean, are we sure we know exactly what Arte Moreno has planned for his alleged “stadium renovations?” I’m just saying.

Garrett Wilson

About Garrett Wilson

Garrett Wilson is the Supreme Overlord of Monkeywithahalo.com and editor at The Outside Corner. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry.

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