I know it has been almost a weeks since the Angels traded for Vernon Wells, but I still can’t get over the $86 milion left on his contract and I know I am not alone.  That $86 million just seems like such a mind boggling number that I just can’t put it out of my mind.  Anytime I think about it, all I can think of is all of the other ways that much money could have been spent.  Hopefully I can have my fun with this now and get it out of my system so I can stop dwelling on this mountain of money the Angels just committed to their new left fielder.

Scrooge McDuck money vault

OK, maybe swimming in the money would have been a worse way for the Angels to use $86 million.

  1. Five years of Adrian Beltre, plus $6 million left over to pay to the buyout on his sixth year player option.  Hmm, that actually sounds like it would have made a lot of sense.  Too bad no crafty general manager thought of it.
  2. 86 million lottery tickets, which might come in handy next off-season if the Cardinals can’t re-sign Albert Pujols and the Angels want to try and take a run at him.
  3. The Angels could afford to give Jeff Mathis 215 more annual raises of $400,000 like they did this year, although he probably wouldn’t deserve any of them, just like he didn’t deserve the one this year.
  4. Eight more years of paying off Gary Matthews… so I guess this could have been a lot worse.
  5. 430,021 subscriptions to the MLB Extra Innings package, which is more than enough subscriptions to cover every citizen of Anaheim, CA, thus allowing them all to be able to watch baseball teams on TV that actually have a capable front office.
  6. 86 million cheeseburgers off of the Dollar Menu at McDonald’s.  Actually, I probably shouldn’t have mentioned this, given Kendry Morales’ affinity for drive-thrus when he first came to America, he’d probably be pretty pissed to learn what he is missing out on.
  7. Hoepfully $86 million is enough to sign Jered Weaver to a six-year contract extension, assuming Our Dark Overlord Scott Boras allows it to happen.
  8. 6,635,802 copies of the Angels 2002 World Series DVD, so that every Halo fan can be given a copy and thus have a reminder of what it looks like for the Angels to have post-season success.
  9. Arte could have instead donated the $86 million to the government and paid off .0006% of the national debt.  Really?  That’s it?  Holy hell, this country is screwed up.  Why is Wells so excited to leave Canada for this mess?
  10. The entire 2010 Opening Day payroll of the Florida Marlins… or the San Diego Padres… or the Oakland Athletics… or the Texas Rangers… or the Pittsburgh Pirates… or the Arizona Diamondback… or the Cleveland Indians… or the Washington Nationals… or the Toronto Blue Jays… or the Tampa Bay Rays… or the Kansas City Royals… or the Cincinnati Reds… or the Milwaukee Brewers… or the Baltimore Orioles… or the Colorado Rockies… or the Atlanta Braves.