If you’re not aware, Baseball-Reference.com allows people to buy sponsorships for player pages on their site. Most of the time, these sponsorships are purchased for legitimate reasons, such as promoting an ad or a website. Other times, the sponsorship powers are used for good, such as when somebody bought a sponsorship for John Lackey’s page under the name of infamous American traitor Benedict Arnold. Now that is the kind of idea I think we can all get on board with, so with that in mind, here are some other such sponsorships that I’d like to see.
The ad may now be gone, but the screen capture lives on forever.
- Jeff Mathis: Sponsored by Mario Mendoza, for obvious reasons.
- Vernon Wells: It doesn’t matter who sponsors it, so long as they pay at least three times what B-R is charging (h/t to @AntiGlib for that one)
- Jered Weaver: Sponsored by the New York Yankees, since that is who he is probably going to be playing for in 2013.
- Brandon Wood: Brought to you by the Letter K.
- Joakim Soria: Sponsored by Chris Berman, the self-professed guru of stupid nicknames. If Soria wants to shed his tremendously cool Mexicutioner nickname so badly, he needs a stark reminder that he better be careful what he wishes for. Congrats, Joakim “Cold” Soria.
- Mike Trout: Sponsored by Arte Moreno because the future of his franchise pretty much entirely depends on Trout making good on all of his hype.
- Dusty Baker: Sponsored by Resolve Carpet Cleaner, the best product for getting all those nasty human feces stains out of your dugout floor!
- Gary Matthews Junior: The official player of FailBlog.org.
- Scott Kazmir: Sponsored by the FBI’s Missing Persons database. Have you seen this man’s slider or velocity? If so, please contact the local authorities.
- Carl Crawford: Sponsored by Gordon Gecko because “greed is good.”