Are you like me? When you get bored do you spend your time just idly surfing through the pages of Baseball-Reference? Just me? OK, wow, I’m a bigger dork than I thought.
Anyway, out of all the fun and interesting things on B-R, the section you can really get lost in is the Similarity Scores. Basically, they take the palyer you are looking at and find the most statistically comparable players in the entire history of baseball. Pretty nifty, eh? Well, sometimes those player comps are pretty interesting, but other times… there is some real inadvertent comedy to be had.
- Jeff Mathis = Bob Uecker. This would be a great scenario for Angel fans if it means that Mathis gets off the field and into the broadcast booth… or onto an underrated family sitcom. Either way, his Mendozian
- Alberto Callaspo = Maicer Izturis. And you wonder why Scioscia wanted him so bad?
- Reggie Willits = Joey Gathright, Curtis Goodwin and Jason Tyner. Three really fast outfielders who all couldn’t hit a lick. That really doesn’t bode well for Willits’ career prospects.
- Fernando Rodney = Kevin Gregg. Let’s see, Gregg was a reliever that the Halos didn’t even think was good enough to be their mop-up man, but for some reason they think Rodney is good enough to be their closer or setup man. Baseball makes no sense to me sometimes, especially since Gregg has also somehow convinced multiple teams to let him be a third-rate closer for them.
- Hisanori Takahashi = Koji Uehara. Apparently Baseball-Reference racially profiles.
- Scott Downs = CJ Wilson. So you are saying the Angels should just convert him into a starter?
- Scott Kazmir = Dontrelle Willis. Another lefty who seemed like an ace when he first came up and then flamed out horribly. Honestly, I don’t know how the score isn’t higher.
- Bobby Abreu = George Brett, Dave Winfield and Carl Yastrzemski. Three Hall of Famers? No joke here at all. I’m wondering if maybe we aren’t all seriously underrating Abreu.
- Dan Haren = John Lackey. This one doesn’t make sense to me. Haren isn’t a traitor. Haren isn’t a redneck. Haren isn’t a mouth-breather. And Haren definitely doesn’t talk like a muppet.
- Erick Aybar = Specs Toporcer. I’m not sure which is more amusing: the name “Specs Toporcer” or that Aybar compares to a guy who played in the 1920’s.