Another week, another batch of real tweets from real Angel players. This week we learn all the wrong ways to commemorate Valentine’s Day. SPOILER ALERT: Bird poop is prominently involved.
C.J. Wilson would like to share with you what he did for Valentine’s Day:
Taking mom to lunch for valentine’s day- gorgeous in Tempe today. Had my first bullpen and workout with the new team today- baseball’s here!
— C.J. Wilson (@str8edgeracer) February 14, 2012
Most of Angels Nation saw that tweet and got excited to see Wilson was already working out with the team. Me, all I saw was that this guy has $77.5 million and the only date he can get for Valentine’s Day is his mom. I think I might be a jerk, then again, maybe C.J. Wilson just needs a reminder of the kind of wool rich, famous, good-looking athletes can pull. You know who All-Star Evan Longoria spent Valentine’s Day with? Playboy playmate Jamie Edmondson. Step up your game C.J.! You were just in a commercial with Kate FREAKING Upton!!! Get on that!!! Guys with the last name Wilson everywhere are counting on you.
Maybe I shouldn’t criticize C.J. for his lame Valentine’s Day. At least he did something nice for his mom. Prospect Jon Karcich, however…:
I prefer to give out roses tomorrow when I can get them at a discounted rate.
— Jon Karcich (@Jkar6) February 15, 2012
I know minor league players get paid almost nothing but, c’mon, Jon. You can do better than that.
I’m not sure what Michael Kohn had planned for Valentine’s Day, but I’m guessing this wasn’t it:
A pack of 30 birds just shat all over my car. Must have been a great dinner.
— Michael Kohn (@MichaelKohn58) February 14, 2012
This tweet is also a metaphor for how Michael Kohn pitcher for the Angels in 2011. Good luck in Tempe, Michael.
And finally, Chevy Clarke finally asks the question I’ve been asking ever since I first followed him on Twitter (only I used proper punctuation):
Why do I bother
— Chevez Chevy Clarke (@OfficialChevy) February 17, 2012
I don’t know, Chevy. I DON’T KNOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!